All or Nothing

I've had a realization:  I don't really have that much going on for me right now.  But at the same time, there are a lot of different things going on.  I'm not doing any dance or theater shows right now, which is kinda of a bummer.  I miss them, as stressful as they can be.  I would like to get involved in doing dance again, whether it's teaching a class, joining a class of something I already know about to refresh myself, or learning a new type of dance.

Work has changed, been at the new store for five weeks now, and I cannot believe how different it is.  Seems like there's less drama, or maybe I just haven't heard much of it yet.  I have heard some BS already, but I'm choosing to not invest in the gossip.  It's very much more organized there as well, really enjoying the way they implement things there.  There are the usual "special" coworkers and customers, but that's everywhere.  My schedule is pretty erratic (and light), but I'm sort of at the bottom of the totem pole so it'll take some working up to get where I'd like to be.

Speaking of where I'd like to be, medically I am not feeling...fabulous.  I've had an issue since July of last year that I've been trying to deal with handle, and it's not pleasant.  I'm now on my fourth medication to try to combat it, but this one gives me headaches, and only partially helps my problem.  Sigh.  I've undergone so many tests for this and haven't really gotten any answers.  Trying to stay positive and hopeful but it's been rough.  I'm not much of a 'take a drug for it' type of person anyway, so if I could find natural solutions, that would be awesome.

In my physicality, I've been trying to up my workout routines and really challenge my body to strengthen and learn and tone.  My diet has been falling a bit by the wayside, but that's in the works.

In the land of being mommy to Miss Awesome Monkey, this has been an interesting age.  Attitude, bargaining, begging, and backtalk have developed, which I am not happy with.  I know there are a lot of factors involved (two households, various relations, schoolmates, etc.), but definitely trying to work through the problems intelligently and in a way she understands, by very openly explaining solutions to her and surround her with love so she doesn't feel attacked.  We're trying to reduce the videogame time at our house because I've found they make her irritable, and incorporate more card games, board games, drawing time, and journal time.  Also more outdoor activities, getting her strength up with hiking, walks to the park, etc.

And now for some mental mush.......
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Sometimes my life doesn't feel real, like I'm waiting for a movie to start.  Like I'll look into the future and say, 'Oh yeah, like when this happens someday,' or 'I'll get there someday.'  Almost like I'm not owning up to my existence?  It's strange.  Something is different though.  I feel like I've gone through so much, even in just the past year.  It's like everything changes slowly but all at once.  Then I look back a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, and see where I'm at now.  A year ago I was working 60 hours a week between two jobs, and doing two shows at once.  I was stressed, but I was happy.  Now I'm barely working 40 hours, and not doing much else.  I do have different areas of my life developing, and maybe I'm just handling them differently now.  This is my All or Nothing.