It seems like all my life I've had this ongoing battle with it. I remember when I was a kid, I would sneak food, all the time. I would grab a snack and hide behind the couch and eat it really fast. I would go get ice cream after dinner and eat a bunch of it, then put some in my bowl, and bring it into the living room. I would bring extra food up into my room. I would refill my bowl or plate two or three times, and just eat and eat until I was disgustingly full. Why? Was I not well-provided for? Quite the opposite in fact. The fridge was generally always full, we were fed full range meals. So what was my problem? Honestly? I have no idea. To this day I still don't know. Literally, just now, I reached into the trash can at work and almost grabbed some french fries that a customer had thrown away. I picked up the bag, opened it, and actually contemplated it. It kind of shocked myself that I would do that. ...And now my stomach's growling...
I regret food. A lot. Food is sort of this strange bane of my existence. I know that doesn't really technically make sense, but it is a mental bane, let's say. I sit and contemplate food. A lot. I'll tell myself, 'You really shouldn't eat this. Don't eat this. You're going to regret it.' If I'm good, I'll stop myself, and not do it. Generally though, I cave and eat it. Then I regret it. Like always. Urgh! Stupid food!
I've more or less "dieted" off and on since I was about 16, and it sucks. For a while there, I got into the mindset of 'Eh I'll just eat whatever and take things in moderation.' Yeah, that's when I actually started noticing the weight coming back on. Oops. My problem is, I don't MOVE enough. Working three jobs has helped, because it seems like all I do is go, go, go when I'm at work. I need to dance more though. A lot more. I will be dancing more and more over these next couple months, but I
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