"i remember..."

I take a sip of wine.  It's a cabernet sauvignon.  Pick up my laptop, kick my feet up on the coffee table, sit back, settle in, take a breath.

"You don't have to move on to let go."
(Thanks Kaskade)

Tuned in, turned up, flowing, vascular, active, aware.  Musical.  Movement.

Softness, soft fur.  Paws pad across my belly.

Two mental om's........

So hello.  Welcome to the world of me.  Status update is in order I suppose.  Current location:  friend's couch, friend's apartment, SLO.  Housesitting.  It's rather nice.  Good change of pace.  Plus the weather here is fantastic.  Been taking care of a little pretty kitty, miss furball (who's watching me from the back of the couch).

What all the hell has been going on for me.  People ask me that.  "So, what's new and exciting for you?"  Well, honestly, I guess every day is technically new and exciting.  But let's just go down the list....completed Dreamweaver 2013 a month ago, wow what a fantastic show.  So much talent involved!  And just absolutely rocked our numbers this year.  Plus we made record-time in choreographing a dance.  Three minute dance in 35 minutes.  Seriously.  Record.  Got a few big-ish gigs coming up that we'd like to take part in:  Desert Dance Festival in Santa Clara this September, and SLO Cabaret Belly Dance Festival this October.  Hopefully might actually revive my bellydance class here soon.  Been working out like every day, maybe skipping one or two days a week, but been kicking some major ass.  I think I'm actually, finally, technically smaller than I was in high school, which is like..a lot.  Still 20 pounds away from my goal weight, but I'm working on it.  But when I look back and go "Wow, six years ago I was over 200 pounds," that's pretty cool.  I've definitely not lost it fast, but it's a work in progress.

The day after we closed Dreamweaver I started rehearsals for Mulan, filling my usual place as assistant director extraordinaire.  And the Director and I positively reFUSE to put ourselves in this show.  (In the past we've had to get things together at the last minute because we were short on actors and had to jump into the shows, which actually made me an actor for the first time EVER last year).  We open Mulan in exactly two months (.......oh my god), and it's going pretty well.  I might actually kind of know how to sing by the end of it because I sing along with the actors every time we run the musical numbers (which is like every two pages in the script).  Actually got to sit down at the keyboard and help out during rehearsal, which is funny because I haven't touched a piano in over ten years.  But I can actually read music, which I'm really proud of (and a surprising amount of artists aren't able to).  Makes me want to download sheet music and start teaching myself to play more songs.  Speaking of music...

Oh my god I have been so effing tuned in to music.  I mean, yeah it's me, I always frickin' am.  But like I want to a part of it so much.  I want to go to shows and festivals and have it blaring all around me.

Sigh...sleep.  Sleep evades me.  Again.  I mean, don't get wrong, I'm effing exhausted.  Today is my weekly 20 hour day, and man, it takes it out of me.  Especially driving.  Wears me out.  Which effing scares me because that's how I got in my car accident eight years ago (falling asleep while driving is not pleasant).  Perhaps I will end this here and send myself off to Neverland.  Good night all, thank you for joining me.  And if I don't see you:  good sleep, good rise, and great day.

"(don't) think about all those things you feel"

Status update!
I am now down about 15 pounds, which puts me at 160, and I am getting excited about it!  I have not seen 160 pounds on the scale since probably 2004.  DAMN.  25 more to go and I will be STOKED.  And this has been hard, belieeeeeeeeeeve me.  Really.  Effing.  Hard.  But this is happening!  Every day after work I either go on a 2 hour walk with weights, interval run at least 5 miles, or go on a 90 minute hike.  I think I'm going to turn turning into one of those crazy workout people.  The twins and badonk have gone down like half the size they were, which is a good sign, now the rest of me just needs to follow!  I really want to get one of those muscle-toning dvd workouts, like Insanity or Ripped in 30, because the running and hiking is great, but I need to tone up.  I am SO excited about this!!!

In other news, I'm still apartment hunting, which has been a bitch!  But I'm hoping that something is making me bide my time waiting for something really good to come along.  I'm saving money right now, and it's a wonderful thing.  Pretty much every rental property management wants 3x's the rent for your monthly income for their sake, and that's awesome, but I'm -RIGHT- at that income borderline where I juuuust can't get a place on my own.  But it'll happen.  Less than six months and I'll have my car and credit card paid off.  Can't wait!

Aaaaaand now we're shopping for new costumes for dance show!  Muahahahahahaha!  Good stuff, good stuff!!

"Run for Cover"

Going into week four of the new year, time for a life assessment!
My eating habits have changed DRAMATICALLY.  Old breakfast: bacon, eggs, toast, orange juice.  New breakfast: protein bar or grapefruit.  Old lunch: mexican food...In n Out, etc.  New lunch: 200 calorie salad.  Old dinner: lasagna, mac n cheese, whatever.  New dinner: small piece of chicken breast and carrots.  Activity schedule has changed too; one, because I can't STAND sitting on my ass all day/night, and two, dammit I want to be a freakin' fox!  If I don't have enough daylight for a good 3-5 mile hike, I try to atleast get in a 2-3 mile street run.  I've lost about ten pounds so far, and have about 30 more to go!  Just gotta kick up that intensity yo.  I'm so over feeling trapped in this body! (Grateful that I am that it encompasses my soul!)

I'm actually sort of kind of maybe a little financially stable right now.  I know!  Crazy, right?!  Now I'm just trying to save save save as much as I can.  Always looking for a new place to live, but I'd like to put away a biiiiit more money before I move back out on my own.

My credit card (yes, just one) and my car will be paid off by this summer, hallelujah!  I'll actually OWN a vehicle, I kind of can't believe it.  It's taken a long time and a ridiculous amount of payments and I don't even want to know how much interest, but I don't really care, because it'll be mine!  So that's a good chunk of change I'll be saving as well.

Adding more tattoo concepts to the list of "Someday I'm gonna get this!"...Definitely want to get out and do more photography...Need to do more artistic/drawing/painting stuff...Exploring more music, falling in love with new songs every day...Do more dancing! (like ya do)...

And yes, on one final note, letting my hair grow out :)